Photo Challenge Day 15

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die-

I don't have a picture of what I want to do before I die because it's not a specific thing.
All I want is to be happy. I want to be able to provide for my family and not face the hardships that alot of people in my family have had to face (debit, addiction, abuse, etc.). I JUST WANT HAPPINESS.

Photo challenge Day 14

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without-

I know I'm corny and I use him as alot of my stuff but I couldn't live without Eric. Literally I've tried to do it and that was the worst 2 months. I didn't know who I was or what I was doing. I'm literally lost without him.

Seriously?

Plannings going pretty well. I've got my ideas and know what I want to do about the main things. My dress is ordered and should arrive about the middle of May. I'm working on getting my bridesmaid dresses ordered. The flowers are in. I have my diamond confetti. And a list of all the other thins that need to be ordered.

And with all this order in my life, why do I suddenly feel like I'm going to be sick? I have it all planned. Everything is figured out. But for some reason I'm stressing. I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that I'm getting married at 21. Maybe it's the fact that we don't have as much money as we thought. Whatever it is I don't like it.

I feel like I could scream. The only thing me and the fiancee aren't paying for ourselves is the venue. Come October my dad and his dad each need about $3,500. That's not so bad. That's actually cheap considering we're paying for EVERYTHING else. In fact he's been telling me for months that he'll have it, it's no problem. But when it's been awhile since we've seen any help or money so I called him to make sure that everything is ok and in October he'll have the final payment (needed before we can get married!). And what does he tell..... HE DOESN'T THINK HE CAN SAVE THAT MUCH BY THEN!!!!!!!!!!!

Ummm excuse me? You've been telling me for months that I don't have to worry and then all of a sudden you tell me YOU WON'T HAVE IT!!!! I love my father. He's my best Friend. But I'm NOT happy with this!

This is the one thing in my life that he is SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR! And he;s not even doing it! I understand times are tough but come on. Me and Eric are 21, own our house (paid for!), and we're now paying for a wedding BY OURSELVES!!!!

Granted in future in-laws are helping out. and gladly paying for their half but COME ON! It's not fair! My older brother got a wedding paid for and his marriage only lasted 5 years!

I hate my life.

Photo Challenge Day 13

Sadly this photo challenge is the only thing that keeps me blogging everyday :(

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist-

I know I'm a dork but I LOVE Taylor Swift. Pretty much any song she does I fall in love with. It's like she reads the story of my life lol

What a Weekend / photo challenge day 12

WHAT A WEEKEND!!! I worked Saturday morning but that's not so bad since I'm off by 1. But then Saturday night I hung out with my cousins (One turned 19 on Friday) then some of my friends came over to watch a movie. There (of course) was some of my fiance's family drama (love him but his sister is horrible) so he left half way through the movie, but what ever. Then Sunday was spent relaxing and watching movies :) We had some old friends we hadn't seen in awhile come over and hangout and it was a very relaxing and chill. All in all it wasn't bad but (like always) it was never boring :)


Day 12 - A picture of something you love-

                                       What can I say, I can't get enough!

The weekend / Photo Challenge Days 9, 10, & 11

 Welp this weekend was a weekend filled with friends and fun. It was my cuz's 19th birthday on Friday so yesterday we hungout and watched 'Burlesque' and ate pie :) Then I hungout with the best friends and the hubby. Now it's time to relax. All in all it was a good weekend :)



Welp I know I've been slacking but lets get caught up....

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most-

Jason and I have been bestfriends since about 8th grade. He's been there through boyfreinds and break-ups, my car accident (he was the one to wake me up from a coma). We have alot of past. Alot of things have happened and our relationship isn't the same. But he's the one person that's always been there and continues to be.

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with-

Kristina is my bestfriend and my MOH. We're fun and crazy together and not always the smartest. We definitely do some pretty stupid things lol

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate-

I don't care how little they are but I HATE spiders!!!! They creep me out and if I see one it definitely makes me freak out!!!! EWWWWW

Photo Challenge Days 7 & 8

 And as we come to the end of another day with a headache we will just continue with the photo challenge....

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item

 I guess I'd have to say my car. It was the my first big girl purchase. I bought it all by myself and love it!! Sometimes I say I want another car, but in the end I won't get ride of it. My car was the marker of me growing up and not depending on my daddy :)




Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh

 

 Most pictures of me and my fiancee make me laugh...

 We can just never be serious for some reason....

 But thats one of the reasons I love him...

 

He's the one person I can be myself around and not have to worry about how I look <3

     Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly!!!

Photo Challenge Day 6

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
                                                My puppy dog Onyx

First of all Onyx is the biggest baby in the world but can get away with it because he's a dog. Second, HE'S SOOO LAZY! All he does all day is sleep and eat. I wish I could be him for a day.

Start of the Transformation/ Photo challenge Day 4 & 5

I have decided I'm tired of just complaining about gaining weight and I'm actually going to do something about it!! So this morning I got up at 5 with my fiancee and when he left for work at 5:20 I started working out to Zumba.
Did it kick my butt!!! I never realize how out of shape I am untill I do work out routines.. I could barely finish it but I'm gonna try my best because I'm tried of this weight!!! I'm going to do it Monday, Wednesdeay, and Friday to begin with and try to go from there to everyday.... WISH ME LUCK!!!


Phot challenge Day 4
Day 04 - A picture of your night

My night was spent with old friends. These girls are the best and I'm so glad I got to catch up with them. I don't get out much these days and I really miss my girls. I'm definately going to try to see them more :)


Photo challenge Day 5
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory

The day I became the Future Mrs. Brown. So far that's my best memory and when the day comes it will change to my wedding day. I love my fiancee more that anything and can't picture my life without him and don't want to either. He's my bestfriend, my rock, and my heart. This truely was the happiest day of my life. 

Photo challenge Day 3

 A picture of the cast from your favorite show

                                                  The Vampire Diaries

I know I'm a dork but I love the Vampire Diaries. The sad thing is I've even gotten my fiancee hooked on it :) 

Photo Challenge Day 2

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest


                                                            My Dad

 

He's my best friend. My father is the one person that's always been there no matter what. Him and my mother split when I was 7 but he always stuck close by. I saw him whenever I wanted and seeing him was always fun. He's been the one to teach me everything from how to spell and write to how to ride a bike and eventually drive. He's my rock. Always there to listen when I need it and give advice when I don't. He's my father and my bestfriend. I love him more then anything and don't know what I would do without him.

Starting the Challenge

So I keep seeing everyone doing this 30 day photo challenge and it looks interesting so here it goes..

                                         Day 1 A picture of yourself with ten facts-

1.I just turned 21
2.I've been bestfriends with my fiancee since our freshman year of high school
3.I'm very self-conscious
4.I'm a big Disney movie freak!!!
5.I love Twilight and pretty much alll vampire movies
6.I have a weird obession with Peter Pan. I own the book, the cartoon, and the real-life version of the movie.
7.I have a fear of growing up (hence Peter Pan)
8.I love my mother but I don't want to be like her (the goods ok but not the bad)
9.My Dad is one of my best friends
10.If I could invent one thing it would be a time-machine, and I'd go back and not be in my car accident :(

Welp that was easier then I thought :)




The list:
Day 01 - A picture of yourself with ten facts
Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
Day 04 - A picture of your night
Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory
Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day
Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh
Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the most ****** up things with
Day 11 - A picture of something you hate
Day 12 - A picture of something you love
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist
Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die
Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you
Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity
Day 19 - A picture and a letter
Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget
Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at
Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book
Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change
Day 25 - A picture of your day
Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you
Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member
Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of
Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile
Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss

New Body Please

So I was in a car accident when I was 16 and I broke my back... no bueno.
Well ever since then I've been getting bad headaches.. like migranes. And I just wish they would go away.

I've been to at least 5 doctors and a chiropractor. And been on countless medications. Nothing works.
It starts in my neck with a cramp and travels to my temples where it gives me a huge headache. Most of the time I can't even see straight. I don't know what to do anymore. I know it upsets my fiance when I tell him I have a headache. Not because he's mad at me but because there's nothing he can do.

I stoped takeing medication about 3 years ago when my doctor had me on 5 at one time and none of them where working. But it really stinks when I get a headache and the only way to "help" is by takeing 4-5 Extra Strength Excedrine Express Gels (it's the ONLY thing that will remotly help). And those only work if I take them right away.

I just wish I could go back 5 years and never be in the car accident. I feel sooooo bad for my fiance because I'll never be normal. I'll never be able to ride the rides at the fair, or jump on a trampoline for more then 2 bounces. I can't even wear a normal halter top swim suit (and trust me it's hard to find one's that aren't). And when it comes to having kids and being a mother, I'm petrified. Giving birth is scary enough with the way my hips and back are, but then when it comes to being a mother.. OMG I'M SCARED! What if I get a headache so bad I can't move to take care of my baby. Or I can't see straight and drop them. What if their cry makes me double over in pain.
These are the questions that go through my head everyday. And the closer that we get to the wedding, the more and the more I think about if I'm even wife material. It's hard to stand and do the dishes for too long. And folding laundry is hard enough if the load gets too big.
Eric's very understanding and I love him for that, but a man can only take so much and I fear the day that he's going to get tired of takeing care of me and leave. He says he won't but you never know what the future will bring.

And in the end no one wants to be alone....

Going with the Flow

Is it normal to be this relaxed? I was like freaking out about the wedding like a month or so ago but now I'm relaxed and going with the flow.
When we first got engaged i was soooo stressed out. Mainly because nothing was happening. We werent planning (well I was), We weren't takeing engagement pics, We weren't booking things, WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING! And it was freaking me out because I didn't think we would have enough time (13 months lol)

But now we have the venue and photographer both booked. Our friend who's a DJ is doing that for us (doesn't need to be booked that far in advance). I'm starting to shop and get the decorations. And the save-the-dates are out and I'm starting on the invites. All and all everything is pulling together and I'm relaxed (not a normal for me)..

And here's the funny part... As relaxed as I am. I'M GAINING WEIGHT! How does this happen? I'm not eating as much. I'm not stressed and yet I'm still gaining weight! I guess I need to actually get off my butt and work out (I'm not into moving after work). But how much weight I'm gaining in such a short period of time is whats getting to me. I don't use a scale (don't believe in them) but in the past month-month and a half, my pants have gotten sooo tight it's rediculous. Pants I bought two months ago and were so loose on me they were falling off my butt, are now tight and I can barely button. WTF makeing me mad :(

Lets Get It Started!

YAY!!!!!! I GOT MY FLOWERS!!!!!! They finally came in the mail and I'm sooo happy!!! I love them!!
I was afraid they wouldn't look real but they DO!!! All I need to do is order two more bundels to be on the safe side and we'll be good.

My diamond confetti also came in and it looks awsome!! I'm ordering another bag bc I want it EVERYWHERE!!!

And I finally got my Save-The-Dates out! I made them myself months ago but just finally got them out last week because I'm a procastantor... They look so cute (their DIY so nothing to fancy).

Besides all of that fun and exciting news I'm just getting ideas for the invites and working on buying those to get them started!!

Here goes nothing...

So my co-worker does this blog thing and keeps telling me I should start one too so here I am to talk about my life for all the web to see. First we'll start with the biggest thing (and what I'll talk about most)

I got engaged September 12, 2010 to my high school sweet-heart. Oh and I might want to mention that I just turned 21 in February. Sometimes I wonder if I'm to young to be getting married, wonder if I've really lived my life. I even had a freak out a couple of weeks ago when we called the wedding off and were breaking up (we're good now, weddings back on). But then I stop and look at Eric and think about living my life without him and I remember why I'm getting married.
Eric has been my best friend since our freshman year of high school and we finally started dating when we were 17. The roads been rough. Full of break-ups and make-ups. Fights and laughs. But in the end we always end up together and remember why we love each other so much.
We bought a house in April of 2009 and it's been nothing but remodeling and fixing problems that were already there. It's been pretty stressful and add a wedding into the mix and you have Me, the girl that's about to pull her hair out.

The wedding planning hasn't been so bad. I have all my ideas in a little notebook and am even starting to order things (we ordered the flowers and diamond confetti this past weekend). I have my dress ordered and on it's way, the venue booked, and the photographer paid. All and all it seems pretty together and easy. But then you throw bratty bridesmaids who also happen to be my cousins and then a bridesmaid/cousin who decides to get married too but have it before mine and include me and our other to cousins who are already my bridesmaids... talk about going off the walls. I've been stressed and snappy..very irritable.

I just need a vaca.... Florida anyone?