New Body Please

So I was in a car accident when I was 16 and I broke my back... no bueno.
Well ever since then I've been getting bad headaches.. like migranes. And I just wish they would go away.

I've been to at least 5 doctors and a chiropractor. And been on countless medications. Nothing works.
It starts in my neck with a cramp and travels to my temples where it gives me a huge headache. Most of the time I can't even see straight. I don't know what to do anymore. I know it upsets my fiance when I tell him I have a headache. Not because he's mad at me but because there's nothing he can do.

I stoped takeing medication about 3 years ago when my doctor had me on 5 at one time and none of them where working. But it really stinks when I get a headache and the only way to "help" is by takeing 4-5 Extra Strength Excedrine Express Gels (it's the ONLY thing that will remotly help). And those only work if I take them right away.

I just wish I could go back 5 years and never be in the car accident. I feel sooooo bad for my fiance because I'll never be normal. I'll never be able to ride the rides at the fair, or jump on a trampoline for more then 2 bounces. I can't even wear a normal halter top swim suit (and trust me it's hard to find one's that aren't). And when it comes to having kids and being a mother, I'm petrified. Giving birth is scary enough with the way my hips and back are, but then when it comes to being a mother.. OMG I'M SCARED! What if I get a headache so bad I can't move to take care of my baby. Or I can't see straight and drop them. What if their cry makes me double over in pain.
These are the questions that go through my head everyday. And the closer that we get to the wedding, the more and the more I think about if I'm even wife material. It's hard to stand and do the dishes for too long. And folding laundry is hard enough if the load gets too big.
Eric's very understanding and I love him for that, but a man can only take so much and I fear the day that he's going to get tired of takeing care of me and leave. He says he won't but you never know what the future will bring.

And in the end no one wants to be alone....